


You’ll Be the Death of Me

by STARSdidathing



Series: AU’s I (Really) Didn’t Need [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crushes, Cutesy, Dare, Embarrassment, Fluff, Gen, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Poor Loki, Shyness, Sweet, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, college students, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Tony was the cute cashier that Loki had the biggest crush on and got tongue-tied just looking at. But was the compelling force of a dare going to be enough to make the situation better, or that much worse? Loki already had an idea, and he was betting on worse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt in the 30 AU masterlist, hehe. This was always going to be something adorable and fun, so I really hope you enjoy it! Flufftastic is really what this is.
> 
>  **The prompt was:** _“my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au_

Loki was going to die of embarrassment. It was all Thor and his _stupid_ friends fault, but it didn’t change the fact that he was going to have a fatal attack of mortification.

God, could he choose the time and place and just die, _right now?_

It was eleven o’clock at night and he’d been dared by Sif and Thor into doing something ridiculous. He’d tried to avoid it, but Thor had threatened to tell Odin he’d been the one to add dye to the water tank that controlled the sprinkler system. 

He _had_ done it, but Thor didn’t know that. He _also_ didn’t need to present any proof for Odin to make his life a fucking misery if he was suspected.

So he’d said yes. It hadn’t been a terrible dare either; “buy twenty condoms”. He’d thought Thor was going easy on him - that should have been Loki’s first warning.

He’d picked up all the condoms and carried them in a basket to the front of the store. He’d been mostly unconcerned - the store was almost completely empty apart from the aisle where Thor and his friends were sniggering. Loki had been fine, unconcerned - right until he’d scanned the empty registers and noticed a specific mop of brown hair.

Loki had frozen, his shoes squeaking on the floor from the abrupt halt. His heart had raced and it didn’t _help_ when the cashier looked over his shoulder at the noise and spotted Loki. His mouth tipped up in a small grin of recognition before turning back to whatever he was doing.

Loki. Wanted. To. Die.

The laughter and the nature of the dare suddenly made complete sense. The cashier’s name was Tony. He was a few years older than Loki; ridiculously handsome, charming and _completely_ uninterested in Loki.

But God, Loki had the _biggest_ crush on him. He also found it hard to string together words when the other boy smiled at him, or heaven forbid, _winked_.

Loki looked around desperately but every other register was deserted. It was just him and Tony. And his twenty condom packets. _Oh God_.

He searched out Thor with wide eyes, knowing his brother and the others were well aware of his pathetic crush on the older boy. They couldn’t be so cruel, could they? The lack of sympathy and completely evil grins said that they could. It also told Loki that if he didn’t go through with it, he’d never live it down and that he’d _also_ have Odin breathing down his neck for months.

Loki had tried so hard to avoid Tony every time he came in, always skirting around his register or aisle, keeping an eye out so that he could watch without being seen, and run if it looked like Tony was going to ask him if he needed help.

It wasn’t _dignified_ , but he could barely get out a quiet ‘ _hi_ ’ in Tony’s cheerful, amused presence.

He felt every inch the gangly nineteen year old he was; never mind he was already years into college, never mind he was a ‘genius’. Never mind anything other than the fact that Tony had been the star of his day and night time fantasies and how could Loki look the guy in the face while buying _condoms?_

Loki didn’t know, but he also knew he didn’t have much of a choice.

Closing his eyes for a second, he sucked in a deep breath before making his way over, feeling his face heat up with every step.

He could stand up in an auditorium full of people a decade older than him without a sweat, he could debate and verbally cut down teachers and other students alike, but put him in a room with the cute cashier and he had might as well become a mute.

Stepping up to the register, Loki put the basket up with limbs that felt numb. He was sure he could hear Thor and the other’s laughter echoing in his head.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Tony asked, but Loki couldn’t bring himself to say a thing. His eyes were focused on the conveyer belt.

When Tony grabbed the basket and upended it, Loki flinched and lifted his hands, not even sure what he wanted to do. But with every condom packet that hit, his shoulders hunched up towards his ears. When Tony picked up a packet, Loki’s eyes darted up before he could stop himself.

Tony was smirking so wide it was taking over his whole face. His eyes were dancing as he shook the packet. It was a red kind. Probably as red as Loki’s fucking face.

“Busy night, huh?” Tony teased.

God, he’d never even had _sex_ before and now Tony thought he was some kind of _slut_.

If the world could just open up and _swallow him whole_ , that would be _great_.

How was Tony ever going to look at him the way he wanted now?

He wouldn’t, obviously. The guy probably wasn’t even gay, or bi, or anything that would make him interested in _Loki_.

But Loki, of course, didn’t realise how wrong he was. Tony, not that the teen in front of him knew it, wasn’t offended by Loki. Tony was fucking _charmed_ and he couldn’t stop smiling at the cherry-red boy if he tried.

The teen was, frankly, _completely adorable_ and Tony had been smitten for months.

His attention had been caught from the start when he’d heard the other boy completely decimating some other teenagers an aisle over four months ago. Tony had ended up leaning against the shelves trying to smother his laughter.

Tony had never expected the shy, not-quite Emo teenager could be so concise - well, not until he realised they shared some of the same classes, and even that had taken him a while to put together. 

Tony had almost been falling asleep during a lecture when the teen had stood up to give a presentation and Tony had jerked awake at the sound of his voice.

Loki Laufeyson. 

The guy was smart as hell and arrogant about it too. He was also only a couple of years younger than Tony. The problem was that Tony just didn’t know how to approach him in class; ‘ _hey, I’m the guy who packages your ramen noodles, wanna go out with me?_ ’

And he didn’t know how to do at the register either, ‘ _Here’s your change and do you have trouble talking to me because you like me? Because we can kiss instead if that’s easier?_ ’

He wouldn’t really care if he got fired for hitting on a customer. Tony didn’t even technically work there, not really. Well. Maybe he did now? He wasn’t sure on the specifics.

He’d been buying some microwave pizza at three in the morning one time and no one had been there and he’d been hungry and half-awake. He’d just hopped behind the register and started serving himself and then a few other people who decided to form a line. He’d just wanted to go _home_.

One thing led to another after that. He still had to convince the owner that he wasn’t a thief, an idiot or a drug addict, but after he’d done that, every now and again Tony walked in and took on a shift.

He liked it. The stocking of shelves and other mindless actions was... calming. Sometimes he just needed something that could switch him off and make him focus on other things. Steve Rogers was really nice about it too, he’d tried to pay him, but with the Stark fortune in his bank account in a couple of years Tony had felt uncomfortable accepting anything.

Steve gave him free merchandise instead and it worked out well, after all, he’d been able to meet Loki through it.

Not that there had been much of a chance to get to _know_ the other boy, but he was hopeful. And well, twenty condoms in one night was a great opening for communication, right?

Loki hadn’t responded to his first quip, so he tried another one while very slowly beginning to scan each item. “If this is your refractory period, I’m kind of jealous.”

“ _Oh god_ ,” he heard him whimper and Tony just couldn’t stop himself from smiling. 

“Now, I’m all for variety, but you know you’ve got different sizes here, right?” He paused deliberately. “Or, wait, no, could be two guys. My mistake.”

The way he seemed to go _even redder_ made Tony want to lean over and kiss him on each cheek and then right on his teeth-worried lips. 

Shit, he couldn’t take much more of this.

“But honestly,” because he was slightly worried the guy might combust if he flushed much more, “I’m guessing someone put you up to this.”

The other boy tensed before his eyes darted up to meet Tony’s, looking mortified and relieved and hopeful all mixed into one glorious green mess.

When Tony smiled this time, it was much softer. “I’m guessing that blond guy who always looks like he’s giving you grief.” Tony took a stab in the dark. “Sibling?”

“Brother,” Loki admitted. “I pulled a prank. He knows it.”

“ _Ah_ ,” Tony nodded. “Payback. Wait...” Tony’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. _You_ put purple in the water sprinkles?” Loki’s eyes went wide as saucers and the briefest flash of guilt, but Tony was already dropping the latest condom packet so that he could applaud him. “Genius. Complete genius. You made my Friday.”

The flush had started to die down but it flooded back into his cheeks now, even as a small smile played at his lips, making him look like mischief incarnate. Oh, Tony wanted him so much.

“I didn’t _do_ anything,” he quietly denied, but in a way neither of them bought for a moment. He bit his lip a moment later, frowning slightly. “You go to the same college as me.”

“I’m in one of your classes.” Two actually, he was in _two_ , but Tony wasn’t about to get _that_ much of his stalk on.

Loki looked very deeply shocked. “You are?”

“You talk a lot more when you’re not in front of me, I’ve noticed.”

That _blush_. Tony had never found shyness attractive before, but on Loki’s unfairly pale skin and with his expressive eyes curtained by dark hair; Tony just wanted to wrap him in a hug and then kiss the hell out of him.

When Tony opened his mouth next, the words were falling out before he could re-think them. “Do you think you’d like to get a coffee with me, sometime?”

Tony didn’t regret the request, but he wasn’t sure just how well it had gone down either. Loki looked dumbfounded.

And he was.

Loki had been ready and willing to sign his own death warrant after all the teasing and the _smiles_. He had needed to get out of the conversation with Tony before he did something even more embarrassing than being a red lump. But the way Tony had noticed him - noticed him when _Loki_ hadn’t even been aware they went to the same college. How could he have missed that??

But no, of fucking _course_ , Tony also registered the way Loki couldn’t talk in front of him, the way he had a _crush_. He’d thought he’d be able to handle talking to Tony what with his congratulations on the prank, his understanding about the condoms - right up until he realised his infatuation was being humoured.

_You talk a lot more when you’re not in front of me, I’ve noticed._

He’d been ready to bolt, leave without the condoms and suffer the consequences, when Tony’s next words had frozen him. _Coffee. Me. Sometime._

“A _date?_ ” Loki blurted, his eyes having flown wide.

“You’re intelligent, adorable and sexy,” Tony listed and grinned. “So, yes, a date. What do you say?”

Loki’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. His mind was too busy stuttering over what he was certain _couldn’t_ be reality. When Tony’s smile changed just slightly, just enough to look longing and _fond_ , Loki was sure he was dreaming.

When Tony hissed, ‘ _oh fuck it_ ’ he didn’t know what to expect, right up until Tony moved in closer, leaning over the counter but hesitating a few inches from him. His intention was clear, but so was the hesitation, the quick check for acceptance before he closed the last remaining distance to press their lips together.

It was soft and Loki’s eyes fell closed as he pressed back against the other’s mouth, feeling the unfamiliar scrape of facial hair before the chaste kiss was ended by Tony pulling back. 

When Loki opened his eyes, it was to see Tony grinning so bright and relieved, and Loki could understand, his heart was racing with a similar feeling. _This is mutual, oh my god, I don’t have to die._

Tony ran a hand through his hair, not seeming to know what to do with himself before he looked down at the conveyer belt. He laughed suddenly before he swiped the rest of the condoms through. They kept shooting each other happy little smiles as he finished, before Tony paused and turned. He rummaged around in a draw before digging back through the shopping bag.

Loki frowned in confusion before Tony uncapped the pen’s lid with his teeth and scrawled something on one of the condom packets. Smirking he held the packet out to Loki who took it on instinct and glanced down.

His flush came back with a vengeance, but not at what was listed there, rather at Tony’s words. “My number and my favourite brand.” Loki looked up just in time to catch his wink. “Just in case you ever need to go shopping again.”

Loki wanted to _throw_ the thing at him, but in the end he just hissed something that might have been scathing, or might have made no sense whatsoever as he slapped down the money he’d been given to pay for the items.

He didn’t even wait for his change as he stalked away from the register, clutching the condom packet tightly in one hand and the bag in the other. He could still hear Tony’s light and amused laughter coming from behind him.

And just, fuck.

On the one hand, he was still mortified, but on the other... Loki glanced down at the packet and the series of numbers. He smiled as he bit his lower lip. On the other hand, he had Tony’s number _and_ the other boy had kissed him.

Daring a quick look over his shoulder, he managed to catch Tony’s eyes. He was actually resting his chin on his palm, his elbow on the conveyer as he looked out after him. Tony didn’t even try to glance away when Loki caught him, he just smiled. 

Loki found himself grinning back, honest and happy and with a thrill in the pit of his stomach. Maybe buying condoms wasn’t so bad after all... maybe, maybe he’d even end up needing them.

The thought made him blush again, but it didn’t seem so horrible this time. After all, how could it be? If Tony actually seemed to like it when he did... maybe Loki wouldn’t mind the way it happened so much around the other boy.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo. I adore shy!Loki in this. I don't write him often, nor do I do this ~omnipresent 3rd person pov thing often, but I just wanted both sides of the story so much. So I hope you liked it and that it flowed smoothly :|
> 
>  **Hey, everyone** the lovely [Chuh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuh/pseuds/Chuh) has translated this into Chinese and it can be found on the frostiron lofter [here](http://frostiron.lofter.com/post/1f5a76c8_eecc6cbd) :D


End file.
